funny stuff: August 2012

Man vs Woman in Technology

Men are like Bluetooth: He is connected to you when you are nearby, but searches for other devices when you are away...Women are like Wi-Fi: She sees all available devices but connects to the strongest one...

This is a gyus response to girls

Girls chase bad guys hoping they can change them into good guys. But when it doesn't happen and they get hurt, they say all guys are the same. But what happened to the actual good guys? They are taken for granted and labeled with the bad guys.

I never married because there was no need. I have 3 pets at home which answer the same purpose as a husband. I have a dog which growls every morning, a parrot which swears all afternoon and a cat that comes home late at night.

Quoted By Marie Corelli

What women want: To be loved, to be listened to, to be desired, to be respected, to be needed, to be trusted, and sometimes, just to be held. What men want: Tickets to the World Series.

Quoted By Dave Barry, Humor Columnist, Miami Herald

Whenever I date a guy, I think, is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?

Quoted By Rita Rudner

I never married because there was no need. I have 3 pets at home which answer the same purpose as a husband. I have a dog which growls every morning, a parrot which swears all afternoon and a cat that comes home late at night.

Quoted By Marie Corelli

A good man doesn't just happen.

A good man doesn't just happen. They have to be created by us women. A guy is a lump, like a doughnut. So first you gotta get rid of all the stuff his mom did to him. And then you gotta get rid of all that macho crap they pick up from beer commercials. And then there's my personal favorite...the male ego.

Quoted By Roseanne Barr

Women rule the world

Women rule the world. It's not really worth fighting because they know what they're doing. Ask Napoleon. Ask Adam. Ask Richard Burton or Richie Sambora. Many a man has crumbled.

Quoted By Quoted By Jon Bon Jovi

Woman to man

There are some men who, in a spirit of arrogance, think they are superior to women. They do not seem to realize that they would not exist but for the mother who gave them birth. When they assert their superiority they demean her.